After high school, I never went by my high school name. At one point in the last 20
years, I didn't want any association to high school. Calling me Jenny or Jenni
was that association and I wanted nothing of it. It's Jennifer, Jen or Jenn.
Family and very close friends refer me to Jen. Newer friends refer me to Jenn. At
work even my manager knows to make sure everyone calls me Jenn or Jennifer. Even
my husband, who I've known since 1997, refers to me as Jennifer when talking to
our friends/families. He won’t even call me Jen.
Why? It just didn’t sit well with me
after high school. Part of it is was because
I was embarrassed of all the naïve things I did. I didn’t want to think about high school. I wasn’t
one of the smart girls, (even though all of my friends were smart) I wasn’t
pretty like them. I was just average. I
didn’t date the most drop dead gorgeous guy. The one guy I
particularly liked and shared my locker with was (back then) untouchable and off
limits. Our circle of friends weren’t the same. We were both so different. I
also felt like I didn’t leave a good impression on people that I wasn’t friends
with either. I was not in a good relationship at the end of high school so
senior year wasn’t as great as it should’ve been. All in all, I wished things
were better in many ways. So when anyone would call me Jenni/Jenny, I
would cringe. It would make me defensive and I was always quick to correct
people.
Five years ago, I went back to my 20 year high school reunion. A classmate,
Jennie Brown saw me. “Hi, Jenni Lee!” And then another, "Oh my God, It's
Jenny!” The whole evening it was Jenni,
Jenny or JenniLee. It was so natural to be called Jenni. Talking to everyone
and reminiscing about all the good times; we had was so much fun. I laughed so hard that night and was reminded
of some pretty crazy and memorable times we had. We walked through old
classrooms and I even saw the locker I once shared with “that guy”. By the end
of the night, I realized how much I’ve missed everyone and how much fun it was
to be young again. The best part of the
reunion was being able to just talk with others that you didn’t get to really
talk to in high school. There was
nothing to be embarrassed about.
After the reunion, I started to utilize
Facebook and found more classmates. Instantly,
it was: "Jenny! How are you?"
I was even writing messages to other classmates by introducing myself as,
Yep! You guessed it, JenniLee or Jenny. Today
as I was chatting on Facebook with my sister-in-law’s cousin, Emily, she asked me if I knew an asian girl name
Jeanette from high school. I did and I
remember her being a couple years ahead of me.
I also remember looking up to her because she was very pretty, smart, had
the cutest boyfriend and was athletic. She was well liked and everyone knew who
she was. Emily asked, “Did you go by
Jenny?” Being a little reseved, I
answered, “Yes.” After a couple more questions, Emily said, “Jeanette
remembers you! She said you were always smiling, bubbly and laughing…”
Other friends have noticed my classmates referring to me as Jenny/Jenni on
Facebook. They too, cringed at the sight of the name. I’ve had to tell them
it’s ok. I’m over it. I realized, it wasn’t as bad as I have made
it out to be. Mentally I thought Jenni/JenniLee/Jenny was a reflection of my
immaturity and stupidity. I didn’t think to view all the good things
that I did in high school. I let the negative outweigh the positive. Today, I am reminded that my high school years wasn't about the dumb things I did. It was my smile, my being positive and laughing.
Yes I’m Jennifer. You can call
me Jen/Jenn, Jenni, JenniLee or Jenny. I’m all the same person.
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