Happy Birthday Mom!

Well, actually, it was yesterday. I got busy and didn't get a chance to write it in here. I called her to wish her a happy birthday. She turned 69 years old. I can't believe how fast time flies. 69 yrs old! My oh my...Anyways, I sent her two bouquets of flowers. I wanted to get more points on mypoints.com so I ordered two bouquet for my 1000 points. One from me, dave and the boys and one from my sister and I. Besides..my mom's worth more than just 2 bouquet of flowers! heheheee...
I look back as I write this and I have to say, 4 1/2 years ago, I wouldn't have written something like this about her. My mom and I never really got along. She and I never saw eye to eye with each other for many years. We would talk on the phone and it would always lead to some sort of argument or disagreements. Phone calls from her were always dreadful. I felt like I was never good enough for her. For those of you who read Joy Luck Club or saw the movie, my relationship w/my mother was similiar to the part where...the girl and mom are at the hair salon. They are talking and the mother doesn't ever say things nice but always compares her to friend's daughter and puts her down. The girl finally gets mad and says something like this to her mother: "Why do you always put me down and compare me to _________. so and so this...So and so That. Nothing I do is ever good enough for you!" Remember that scene? Tear jerker for me b/c that scene in the movie always made me cry and totally relates to the kind of relationship I had with my mother. That was always my mother and me....I was always trying to please her but it somehow was never good enough. I felt resentment towards her for many many years.
The day I told her I was divorcing my ex and moving on with my life, was a turning point in our relationship. She was the last person to know. I didn't want to hear her yell at me and tell me how I was stupid for marrying him in the first place. I dreaded hearing her say, "See? I told you it was a bad idea to marry him...etc See? I told you so!! blah blah blah blah". I just didn't want to hear it from her but I had to tell her. I remember calling her and told her I had to tell her something. She asked, "What?" I was gripping the phone so tight to prepare for the yelling. I remember feeling so tense and so uptight. I remember telling myself, be ready for a comeback...think quickly for a good comeback. Get ready to fight back....and so I told her. Told her I'm through being married to Steve and I am divorcing him and leaving his ass....
There was silence... It felt like a long silence.
She said, "Good! Hurry up and gather the kids and get out of that apt....Dad & I will help you get a house and get you all situated. Don't worry about anything and just get all your things out of that apartment and make sure the kids are safe...Take the kids with you..."
All of the sudden, I felt this overwhelming dead weight just lift off of me. I grew very limp and I cried...I dont remember what else was said. I was at work that day when this all took place. I purposely chose to call during my work hours b/c calling from work meant I only had a limited amount of time to talk and no time to argue with her. A coworker of mine knew what kind of relationship I had w/my mother and he knew I was calling her that day to tell her my news. He came out to check up on me. He saw me crying, shut my office door and said, "Everything will be alright..."
He was right.
My mother and I talk every week now. We bond...we laugh. She gives me motherly advice and tells me what a good mother I am. I tell her what a great mom she is all the time. I am told I am very much like her and I hope that I can be the bestest mom to my boys too....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM. I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE THE BESTEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Thank you for everything! . I now understand why those 12 years of our relationship was difficult. You felt my hurt, worries and stress. You saw and could feel what I was going through the whole time....You did understand me after all...